1 00:00:11,857 --> 00:00:14,563 [? upbeat music plays] 2 00:00:17,100 --> 00:00:18,670 Is this mine or yours? 3 00:00:18,671 --> 00:00:20,406 That�s actually yours, but I steal it a lot. 4 00:00:20,407 --> 00:00:21,744 - [chuckles] - Okay. 5 00:00:21,745 --> 00:00:23,478 Have you guys seen my phone? 6 00:00:23,479 --> 00:00:24,917 - Of course not. - Always no. 7 00:00:24,918 --> 00:00:27,522 Issa, I got you a phone lanyard for exactly this reason. 8 00:00:27,523 --> 00:00:30,127 Oh. Well, then has anyone seen my phone lanyard? 9 00:00:30,260 --> 00:00:32,063 - [both scoff] - Again, no. 10 00:00:32,064 --> 00:00:33,934 [groans] I�m just gonna do the thing. 11 00:00:34,102 --> 00:00:37,040 [phone ringing] 12 00:00:39,546 --> 00:00:42,384 Yeah. [hums] 13 00:00:43,588 --> 00:00:47,060 - [hums] Okay. - [Anton] Mmm. 14 00:00:49,566 --> 00:00:52,204 - [vocalizing] - [beatboxing] 15 00:00:52,205 --> 00:00:53,840 - [grunting] - [Anton] Whoo! 16 00:00:53,841 --> 00:00:56,244 Look at that, look at this, look at this, watch this. 17 00:00:56,245 --> 00:00:57,625 [phone continues ringing] 18 00:00:58,250 --> 00:01:00,220 Yeah! I found it! 19 00:01:00,221 --> 00:01:02,357 [Anton, singsongy] Okay, okay. Right there. 20 00:01:02,358 --> 00:01:04,108 - Don�t stop. - [Samir beatboxing] 21 00:01:04,109 --> 00:01:05,229 My grandpa had a heart attack. 22 00:01:05,230 --> 00:01:06,498 - [gasps] What? - [Anton] What? 23 00:01:06,499 --> 00:01:08,336 - Oh, God. Oh, shit. - [Billie] What? 24 00:01:09,405 --> 00:01:12,545 Oh. Wait, this isn�t my phone. [chuckling] 25 00:01:18,189 --> 00:01:19,325 Billie... 26 00:01:20,460 --> 00:01:21,963 I found your phone. 27 00:01:21,964 --> 00:01:26,472 [Samir inhales sharply] Issa, Jesus Christ. [grunts] 28 00:01:26,473 --> 00:01:29,111 - Oh, Bills. - [Anton] It�s gonna be okay. 29 00:01:29,112 --> 00:01:31,048 - Billie, it�s gonna be okay, okay? - [Samir] Yeah. 30 00:01:31,049 --> 00:01:34,789 - [taps] - [phone ringing] 31 00:01:34,790 --> 00:01:36,392 [? "Bad Advice" playing] 32 00:01:53,928 --> 00:01:56,265 [? funky music plays] 33 00:01:56,266 --> 00:02:01,141 [reporter] More than 50,000 runners from around the world 34 00:02:01,142 --> 00:02:03,278 are taking on 26.2 miles... 35 00:02:03,279 --> 00:02:05,182 - [groans] Where�s the drama? - I know. 36 00:02:05,183 --> 00:02:07,387 At a certain point, give us an obstacle. Set a bear free. 37 00:02:07,388 --> 00:02:08,598 - Oh! - See what happens. 38 00:02:08,858 --> 00:02:10,962 - [Issa] Great idea. - Okay, be honest. 39 00:02:11,162 --> 00:02:12,664 Does this blazer work, 40 00:02:12,665 --> 00:02:14,267 or do I look like a divorc�e fighting for full custody? 41 00:02:14,268 --> 00:02:15,670 Full custody, no visitation rights. 42 00:02:15,671 --> 00:02:17,507 - Fuck, I knew it. - Billie, it�s a Sunday. 43 00:02:17,508 --> 00:02:18,943 They can�t make you go into the newsroom on a Sunday. 44 00:02:18,944 --> 00:02:21,916 Make me? Sundays are when PAs get ahead. 45 00:02:21,917 --> 00:02:24,589 I�m about to make the supply closet my bitch. 46 00:02:24,590 --> 00:02:26,892 Hey, when you leave, can you please head out the back? 47 00:02:26,893 --> 00:02:28,897 You see that caution tape I put up? 48 00:02:28,898 --> 00:02:31,167 It was way too close a call with that Postmate the other night. 49 00:02:31,168 --> 00:02:33,238 My dad got a Ring cam notification that said "motion detected." 50 00:02:33,239 --> 00:02:35,710 Or you could just, hear me out, tell your parents that we�re living here. 51 00:02:35,711 --> 00:02:37,214 Mmm, that�s a great idea. 52 00:02:37,314 --> 00:02:39,518 Or you could just hear me out while I say no. 53 00:02:39,519 --> 00:02:41,188 Okay, respectfully, 54 00:02:41,189 --> 00:02:43,526 you are hiding three 24-year-olds from a doorbell camera. 55 00:02:43,527 --> 00:02:46,565 Okay, my parents don�t even like it when the guests use the good towels. 56 00:02:46,566 --> 00:02:48,402 Trust me, honesty is not the best policy here. 57 00:02:48,403 --> 00:02:51,042 Honesty is always the best policy. 58 00:02:51,275 --> 00:02:52,325 [Issa] Mmm. 59 00:02:52,377 --> 00:02:54,380 - [whispering] Tell them. - Okay. 60 00:02:54,381 --> 00:02:57,153 Billie won the Anne Frank Student of Integrity Award in the eighth grade. 61 00:02:57,154 --> 00:02:58,623 Oh, wow. 62 00:02:58,624 --> 00:03:00,426 Yeah, I told the principal which kids drank. 63 00:03:00,427 --> 00:03:02,497 - Mmm, just like Anne would. - Okay, I�m with Samir. 64 00:03:02,498 --> 00:03:04,968 So what if the man lies to his sweet, retired parents 65 00:03:04,969 --> 00:03:05,002 So what if the man lies to his sweet, retired parents while they travel the country? 66 00:03:05,003 --> 00:03:06,973 while they travel the country? 67 00:03:06,974 --> 00:03:08,776 Right? Okay, please be careful with the dumplings on the couch. 68 00:03:08,777 --> 00:03:10,479 - Oh. - I�m being careful. 69 00:03:10,480 --> 00:03:13,118 Lying is only a problem if you�re bad at it, right? 70 00:03:13,119 --> 00:03:15,222 If you�re good at it, you�re basically an author. 71 00:03:15,223 --> 00:03:18,531 You�re telling tales, you�re weaving fables. 72 00:03:18,532 --> 00:03:20,399 Yeah, but I feel like I never see you lie. 73 00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:22,038 - Really? - Mm-hmm. 74 00:03:22,039 --> 00:03:24,240 - I�ve lied to you like three times today. - What? About what? 75 00:03:24,241 --> 00:03:25,878 Hmm. I can�t recall. 76 00:03:25,879 --> 00:03:27,815 - Ugh, I love that sweater. - [gasps] 77 00:03:27,816 --> 00:03:30,386 - [chuckling] Thanks. Me too. - Mm-hmm. [mouthing words] 78 00:03:30,387 --> 00:03:32,691 - [Samir] Anton? - [presenter speaking on TV] 79 00:03:32,692 --> 00:03:34,595 - What? - [Samir] Look. 80 00:03:34,596 --> 00:03:35,864 Nearly two million spectators have lined the course today... 81 00:03:35,865 --> 00:03:37,601 - [Anton] What? - [Issa] Oh, my God! 82 00:03:37,602 --> 00:03:39,003 - [Billie] Wait, what is that? - [objects clatter] 83 00:03:39,004 --> 00:03:41,141 - Shit. [sighs] - [Billie] Is that you? 84 00:03:41,142 --> 00:03:44,247 - [Anton] No, no, no. - [Billie] "We love you, Anton"? What- 85 00:03:44,248 --> 00:03:46,685 - Enhance. Samir, enhance. - Th-Th-That�s not a thing. 86 00:03:46,686 --> 00:03:50,360 [Issa] "Our coworker is faster than your coworker"? What... 87 00:03:50,695 --> 00:03:53,045 - [Anton breathing heavily] - [Billie] Anton. 88 00:03:53,099 --> 00:03:57,775 So, I, um... I may have gotten caught in a lie. 89 00:04:00,246 --> 00:04:01,650 [gasps] 90 00:04:01,651 --> 00:04:04,454 It�s like the wettest dumpling of all time. 91 00:04:04,455 --> 00:04:06,392 So, how exactly did this happen? 92 00:04:06,393 --> 00:04:08,328 [grunts] It�s just a huge misunderstanding. 93 00:04:08,329 --> 00:04:11,602 - [Billie] Hmm. Mmm. - Mainly due to my behaviors and actions. 94 00:04:11,603 --> 00:04:13,840 - That�s the worst. - [Anton] Okay, so last year, 95 00:04:13,841 --> 00:04:15,910 we did this icebreaker at work, where everyone had to go around 96 00:04:15,911 --> 00:04:17,881 and say their name, their hometown and their hobby. 97 00:04:17,882 --> 00:04:20,554 [gasps] But you have no hobbies. Nor passions nor pastimes. 98 00:04:20,555 --> 00:04:23,292 - I know. - [Issa] So, what�d you say? 99 00:04:23,293 --> 00:04:25,063 So I panicked and I said running. 100 00:04:25,064 --> 00:04:26,298 Wait, you run? 101 00:04:26,299 --> 00:04:28,971 - I have ran. - You have run. 102 00:04:28,972 --> 00:04:30,573 He�s not even familiar with the verb. 103 00:04:30,574 --> 00:04:32,042 It was supposed to be a one-off lie, 104 00:04:32,043 --> 00:04:34,214 but you know how coworkers are, right? 105 00:04:34,215 --> 00:04:36,652 You give them one fun fact, and then they just, like, latch onto it. 106 00:04:36,653 --> 00:04:38,591 I know, they�re vampires. 107 00:04:38,592 --> 00:04:41,361 So, I-I told them I was running a 5K, and then I told them I was running a 10K, 108 00:04:41,362 --> 00:04:45,538 and then I, um... I may have mentioned that I was running the marathon this year. 109 00:04:45,539 --> 00:04:48,275 - [Samir] Oh, my... - For breast cancer awareness. Don�t gasp. 110 00:04:48,276 --> 00:04:49,745 - Don�t do it. - [gasps, coughs] 111 00:04:49,746 --> 00:04:51,950 What? I-I didn�t know they�d show up. 112 00:04:51,951 --> 00:04:53,787 [scoffs] It�s a hybrid remote job. 113 00:04:53,788 --> 00:04:55,657 Oh, God, you made a web of lies. 114 00:04:55,658 --> 00:04:57,862 I get it. It�s like when I told everyone I was born deaf. 115 00:04:57,863 --> 00:04:59,965 - You weren�t? What? - [gasps] 116 00:04:59,966 --> 00:05:02,871 - What... Okay. - Anyway, you just have to come clean. 117 00:05:02,872 --> 00:05:04,007 [Anton scoffs] 118 00:05:05,043 --> 00:05:06,145 Or... 119 00:05:06,980 --> 00:05:09,818 Or... Or... I like "or." Let�s explore "or." 120 00:05:09,819 --> 00:05:14,862 Or you could just weave more web. 121 00:05:14,863 --> 00:05:16,165 [Issa gasps] 122 00:05:16,166 --> 00:05:17,701 - Okay, okay, let�s do it. - [Billie] Mm-hmm. 123 00:05:17,702 --> 00:05:19,070 How would that work? 124 00:05:19,071 --> 00:05:22,846 So, we know where your coworkers are waiting. 125 00:05:23,012 --> 00:05:24,715 - Right, right, right. - Right? 126 00:05:24,716 --> 00:05:26,484 So you don�t actually have to run the marathon. 127 00:05:26,485 --> 00:05:28,923 You just have to run one singular block past them, 128 00:05:28,924 --> 00:05:30,694 and the web of lies stays intact. 129 00:05:30,695 --> 00:05:32,731 What happened to the Anne Frank Student of Integrity? 130 00:05:32,732 --> 00:05:34,536 I am honest in my own life, okay? 131 00:05:34,537 --> 00:05:37,473 But we have a responsibility to help our friend Anton out of this. 132 00:05:37,474 --> 00:05:39,010 - Yeah. - Okay, but after this, no more lying. 133 00:05:39,011 --> 00:05:39,044 - Yeah. - Okay, but after this, no more lying. 134 00:05:39,045 --> 00:05:40,580 [Anton] No more lying, promise. 135 00:05:40,581 --> 00:05:42,049 Okay, let�s do this. Should we go now? 136 00:05:42,050 --> 00:05:43,653 Okay, wait, we should wait, like, three hours 137 00:05:43,654 --> 00:05:45,584 - so it�s a more realistic pace. - Got it. 138 00:05:45,891 --> 00:05:47,360 Let�s call it two. 139 00:05:47,361 --> 00:05:49,598 - I�ve been fake training a lot this year. - [scoffs] 140 00:05:49,599 --> 00:05:52,002 - You guys... - Okay. Um, I�m gonna go color-code this. 141 00:05:52,003 --> 00:05:54,743 - [Issa] Ooh! - [sighs] Look at her go, our anal queen. 142 00:05:54,909 --> 00:05:56,647 And you just named our boat. 143 00:05:58,421 --> 00:06:03,726 - [patrons chattering] - [blows ra I can�t think of a pun for my sign. 144 00:06:03,727 --> 00:06:06,264 Pun? Mine just says, "Run, slut." 145 00:06:06,265 --> 00:06:07,468 It does. 146 00:06:07,602 --> 00:06:10,139 - [phone beeps] - [groans] Steve. 147 00:06:10,140 --> 00:06:11,542 [Samir] What? 148 00:06:11,543 --> 00:06:13,478 [sighs] Steve sent me an apology Cameo. 149 00:06:13,479 --> 00:06:15,650 Issa, you�ve been seeing this guy for, like, three weeks. 150 00:06:15,651 --> 00:06:17,554 He�s already on his second apology Cameo. 151 00:06:17,555 --> 00:06:19,825 It�s not his fault that he forgot my birthday, Sammy. 152 00:06:19,826 --> 00:06:21,228 He has ADHD. 153 00:06:21,229 --> 00:06:23,567 Buying a card is like scaling a mountain for him. 154 00:06:23,568 --> 00:06:25,538 Okay, whatever. 155 00:06:25,738 --> 00:06:27,575 [groans, inhales deeply] 156 00:06:28,175 --> 00:06:31,817 Do I just attract shitty guys? Like, is it me? 157 00:06:31,818 --> 00:06:33,552 I mean, obviously it�s not me, but- 158 00:06:33,553 --> 00:06:34,888 - No, it�s you. - What the hell? 159 00:06:34,889 --> 00:06:36,559 - Sammy? - Yeah. Sorry. 160 00:06:36,560 --> 00:06:38,228 If you wanted a pep talk, you could go to Billie, 161 00:06:38,229 --> 00:06:39,798 but you come to me, 162 00:06:39,799 --> 00:06:41,903 you�re gonna get the truth and pocket Sour Straws. 163 00:06:41,904 --> 00:06:43,707 Okay, fine. What is the truth? 164 00:06:43,907 --> 00:06:45,443 - The truth is... - [sighs] 165 00:06:45,444 --> 00:06:47,914 ...you take in these, like, strays, and then you�re shocked 166 00:06:47,915 --> 00:06:50,520 every time they turn around and piss all over your leg. 167 00:06:50,521 --> 00:06:52,824 Remember Andy, the street magician? 168 00:06:52,825 --> 00:06:55,330 - He was an unhoused magician, actually. - Okay. 169 00:06:55,331 --> 00:06:58,001 What about that guy who went to NYU for freestyle rap? 170 00:06:58,002 --> 00:07:01,007 Oh, God. He tried to rhyme everything with "bitch." 171 00:07:01,008 --> 00:07:03,145 Itch, ditch, rich. 172 00:07:03,146 --> 00:07:05,496 He�s always just working his way up to "bitch." 173 00:07:05,718 --> 00:07:06,820 Straw? 174 00:07:08,456 --> 00:07:09,758 You know what? 175 00:07:09,759 --> 00:07:12,029 - You�re right. Fine. I�m done. - Mm-hmm. 176 00:07:12,030 --> 00:07:16,205 I�m done fixing these lost, broken men. 177 00:07:16,206 --> 00:07:18,710 - Thank you. - It�s charity. I�m not doing it anymore. 178 00:07:18,711 --> 00:07:20,680 I should get to be the lost and broken one. 179 00:07:20,681 --> 00:07:22,116 - I�d be so good at it. - Sorry. Excuse me. 180 00:07:22,117 --> 00:07:24,220 Can I borrow your bathroom? Can I just... 181 00:07:24,221 --> 00:07:26,892 I�d like a glass of water, please. I feel like I need some water. 182 00:07:26,893 --> 00:07:29,665 [screams] Nobody touch him! I can save him! 183 00:07:29,666 --> 00:07:31,636 - Issa. - [Issa grunts, panting] 184 00:07:31,637 --> 00:07:32,738 Are you a doctor? 185 00:07:32,739 --> 00:07:33,807 Uh, dance teacher. 186 00:07:33,808 --> 00:07:35,108 Why? Do you not feel well? 187 00:07:35,109 --> 00:07:37,046 Can I just get some water, please? 188 00:07:37,047 --> 00:07:39,719 Yes, um, could we please get a water and a Diet Coke? 189 00:07:39,886 --> 00:07:40,936 - Oh. Okay. - Thank you. 190 00:07:41,055 --> 00:07:43,894 - Hi. [panting] - Hi. 191 00:07:45,263 --> 00:07:47,869 - You�re pretty. - You too. 192 00:07:48,236 --> 00:07:49,840 [both chuckle] 193 00:07:49,939 --> 00:07:52,343 I just wanted to check on my chicken fingers. 194 00:07:52,344 --> 00:07:53,412 [waiter] Sorry. 195 00:07:53,413 --> 00:07:54,883 [? upbeat music plays] 196 00:07:55,016 --> 00:07:56,787 [clerk] If you need it by Monday, 197 00:07:56,886 --> 00:07:59,124 - there�s a Monday surcharge. - [door opens] 198 00:07:59,692 --> 00:08:00,761 - Hi. - Hey. 199 00:08:00,894 --> 00:08:02,464 Look, Billie made me a fake bib. 200 00:08:02,497 --> 00:08:04,133 [Samir] Wow. 201 00:08:04,134 --> 00:08:07,144 Yeah, just don�t embarrass me, okay? Kind of a big deal here. 202 00:08:07,307 --> 00:08:08,643 - [clerk] Hey! - Okay. 203 00:08:08,644 --> 00:08:10,646 - [Billie] Hi, guys. - Billie. Billie, Billie. 204 00:08:10,647 --> 00:08:12,182 - Customer of the century. - [chuckles] 205 00:08:12,183 --> 00:08:14,254 ? The karaoke queen ? 206 00:08:14,255 --> 00:08:16,959 How much time does she spend at this print shop? 207 00:08:16,960 --> 00:08:19,330 Yo, Billie�s here. Billie�s here. Look. 208 00:08:19,331 --> 00:08:20,466 [clerks] ? Oh, home ? 209 00:08:20,467 --> 00:08:22,002 Rob, it�s your day off. 210 00:08:22,003 --> 00:08:24,141 - ? Let me go home ? - ? Home ? 211 00:08:24,274 --> 00:08:26,312 [all] ? Home is wherever... ? 212 00:08:26,313 --> 00:08:28,248 - I think we have to kill her. - Yeah, I think it�d be a mercy kill. 213 00:08:28,249 --> 00:08:29,851 - ? Oh, home ? - [vocalizing] 214 00:08:29,852 --> 00:08:32,891 ? Let me go home ? 215 00:08:32,892 --> 00:08:36,232 ? Home is Wherever I�m with you ? 216 00:08:36,533 --> 00:08:39,572 [singsongy] Billie, when are we doing karaoke again? 217 00:08:39,573 --> 00:08:42,276 - [Billie] Name a day. - Yeah, anything you want printed. 218 00:08:42,277 --> 00:08:42,310 - [Billie] Name a day. - Yeah, anything you want printed. 219 00:08:42,311 --> 00:08:44,616 Hannah, you are a lifesaver. 220 00:08:44,617 --> 00:08:48,355 And you need to tell us when your next NewsNight piece is gonna air, girl. 221 00:08:48,356 --> 00:08:49,992 - We�ve been tuning in. - [Billie laughs] 222 00:08:49,993 --> 00:08:52,799 No one believes us that we are friends 223 00:08:52,998 --> 00:08:55,337 with a whole-ass news reporter. 224 00:08:55,571 --> 00:08:58,208 - She does the news, y�all. You knew that? - What? 225 00:08:58,209 --> 00:09:00,646 - Y�all know Billie? Y�all know Big Bill? - [Anton] We know her. 226 00:09:00,647 --> 00:09:03,084 We�re with the reporter. The whole-ass news- 227 00:09:03,085 --> 00:09:05,556 Who is the news reporter that they�re speaking of? 228 00:09:05,557 --> 00:09:08,428 �Cause I know the very truthful PA would never lie about something like that. 229 00:09:08,429 --> 00:09:10,800 Yeah, what would Anne Frank think of something like that? 230 00:09:10,801 --> 00:09:12,937 - [Anton] Huh. - Okay, after this, no more lying. 231 00:09:12,938 --> 00:09:14,274 - Okay. - Okay. 232 00:09:14,275 --> 00:09:16,479 Uh, can we do it six by eight? High contrast. 233 00:09:17,014 --> 00:09:19,518 ? Home is Wherever I�m with you ? 234 00:09:19,519 --> 00:09:21,354 [? uplifting music plays] 235 00:09:21,355 --> 00:09:22,624 [spectators cheering] 236 00:09:22,625 --> 00:09:23,760 Excuse me. 237 00:09:23,761 --> 00:09:25,129 - Hi. - What? 238 00:09:25,130 --> 00:09:26,732 Where were you? It�s about to happen. 239 00:09:26,733 --> 00:09:28,637 - She found a stray. - No, no, I did not. 240 00:09:28,804 --> 00:09:31,934 I put a handsome, sweaty man in an Uber and I sent him on his way, 241 00:09:32,043 --> 00:09:33,914 because I am an evolved woman. 242 00:09:33,915 --> 00:09:36,184 Sorry, I�m here now, and I�m ready to support your tiny marathon. 243 00:09:36,185 --> 00:09:38,835 Okay, Anton, your coworkers are 30 yards up that way. 244 00:09:38,890 --> 00:09:40,760 Thirty yards? That is far. 245 00:09:40,761 --> 00:09:42,665 - Anton! - Sorry, sorry. 246 00:09:42,666 --> 00:09:44,968 Okay, and in case they ask any questions, here are our contingencies. 247 00:09:44,969 --> 00:09:47,874 For instance, if they ask you why you don�t have running shoes, 248 00:09:47,875 --> 00:09:49,878 it�s because Issa was supposed to bring them for you, 249 00:09:49,879 --> 00:09:52,015 but she forgot because her fake aunt is in town. 250 00:09:52,016 --> 00:09:53,786 I love that. Her name�s Bonnie and she�s a klepto. 251 00:09:53,787 --> 00:09:56,023 Great. Okay, and now you two are fake fighting, 252 00:09:56,024 --> 00:09:58,762 but she still showed up to support you because her fake therapist told her to, 253 00:09:58,763 --> 00:10:00,365 and Samir is that fake therapist. 254 00:10:00,366 --> 00:10:01,969 No, I don�t like that one. Can I have a different one? 255 00:10:01,970 --> 00:10:03,271 - No. Okay, review that. - [sighing] Okay. 256 00:10:03,272 --> 00:10:04,809 - Okay. - Okay. 257 00:10:04,810 --> 00:10:06,745 - [Issa gasps] - Breast cancer awareness. 258 00:10:06,746 --> 00:10:07,948 - Oh, nice! - Oh, my God. 259 00:10:07,949 --> 00:10:09,685 - Sweat. - Okay, got it. 260 00:10:10,119 --> 00:10:11,890 Okay. Face. 261 00:10:13,359 --> 00:10:14,962 You guys, here I go. 262 00:10:15,129 --> 00:10:17,433 [? uplifting music playing] 263 00:10:17,434 --> 00:10:18,902 [breathes deeply] 264 00:10:18,903 --> 00:10:23,847 - [echoing] Go, Anton! - [echoing] Yeah, Anton! 265 00:10:25,918 --> 00:10:27,520 [groans] 266 00:10:27,521 --> 00:10:28,571 [? music stops] 267 00:10:28,757 --> 00:10:30,092 [all] Oh. 268 00:10:30,093 --> 00:10:32,196 - [groaning] - [Samir] And he�s got a cramp. 269 00:10:32,197 --> 00:10:33,566 [Billie] And he�s fine. 270 00:10:33,567 --> 00:10:35,201 Someone get him a banana. 271 00:10:35,202 --> 00:10:37,708 - Oh, my God. There he is! Yes! - [cheering] 272 00:10:38,075 --> 00:10:39,143 What? 273 00:10:39,144 --> 00:10:41,850 You guys! No, no! 274 00:10:42,016 --> 00:10:44,588 Oh, my God, I�m emotional. 275 00:10:44,589 --> 00:10:45,991 I�m doing this for you. 276 00:10:45,992 --> 00:10:47,392 And breast cancer, okay? We�re gonna fix it. 277 00:10:47,393 --> 00:10:49,296 - We gotta fix it. - Yes, we can. 278 00:10:49,297 --> 00:10:50,567 - We love you. We love you, buddy. - Mwah, mwah and mwah. 279 00:10:50,568 --> 00:10:51,670 What is he... 280 00:10:51,671 --> 00:10:52,937 Anton? 281 00:10:52,938 --> 00:10:54,018 [coworker] Oh, my God. 282 00:10:54,174 --> 00:10:55,711 [coworkers cheering] 283 00:10:55,911 --> 00:10:57,013 [? music resumes] 284 00:10:57,146 --> 00:10:58,984 - You�re our hero! - Yes, he is! 285 00:11:00,721 --> 00:11:01,771 [? music stops] 286 00:11:01,956 --> 00:11:03,006 [chattering] 287 00:11:03,092 --> 00:11:04,494 Okay, now he�s milking it. 288 00:11:04,795 --> 00:11:07,834 [coworkers] Go, Anton! Go, Anton! Go, Anton! 289 00:11:07,835 --> 00:11:09,237 Oh, I love it! 290 00:11:09,337 --> 00:11:11,710 - Okay, here we go. - [coworker 2] You got this. Oh. 291 00:11:11,711 --> 00:11:14,446 - Is he gonna do it? - He�s gonna end up running a marathon. 292 00:11:14,447 --> 00:11:16,351 Okay, bye! 293 00:11:17,287 --> 00:11:18,354 He�s a riot. 294 00:11:18,355 --> 00:11:20,694 [? music resumes] 295 00:11:24,936 --> 00:11:27,306 Now, help, please. Help, please. 296 00:11:27,307 --> 00:11:29,009 [groans] Thanks. 297 00:11:29,010 --> 00:11:31,720 - God, I�m fake proud of him. - I know. I�m fake proud of us. 298 00:11:32,014 --> 00:11:37,661 To Billie! She pulled the whole thin -Cheers. All right. - It worked. 299 00:11:37,662 --> 00:11:39,197 [Anton] Can I be honest? 300 00:11:39,198 --> 00:11:40,566 I now know what they mean by runner�s high. 301 00:11:40,567 --> 00:11:42,069 - [Samir] Do you? - You know what? 302 00:11:42,070 --> 00:11:43,706 - Your skin looks amazing. - Right? 303 00:11:43,707 --> 00:11:45,108 Endorphins. 304 00:11:45,109 --> 00:11:46,979 Even as I sit here, the endorphins are still with me. 305 00:11:46,980 --> 00:11:49,216 Mmm. Oh, will you get me another one when you�re inside? 306 00:11:49,217 --> 00:11:51,590 Yep. Anything for my favorite reporter. 307 00:11:51,591 --> 00:11:52,824 Okay. 308 00:11:52,825 --> 00:11:54,762 - Me too, please. - Okay. 309 00:11:54,763 --> 00:11:57,767 Okay, wait, wait. So what actually happened with that fainting runner guy? 310 00:11:57,768 --> 00:11:59,878 I told you, I left him alone. No more strays. 311 00:11:59,972 --> 00:12:01,407 - Yeah? - Mm-hmm. 312 00:12:01,408 --> 00:12:03,881 I�m tired of getting hurt. I want a guy with a job 313 00:12:03,882 --> 00:12:05,115 and his own place. 314 00:12:05,116 --> 00:12:06,653 - Okay. - No offense. 315 00:12:06,886 --> 00:12:07,989 Some taken. 316 00:12:08,122 --> 00:12:11,864 - Hello! Hi. Hello. - [Issa] Oh. Hi! 317 00:12:12,063 --> 00:12:13,298 - Oh. Uh... - Hi. 318 00:12:13,299 --> 00:12:14,901 - I hope we�re not intruding. - No. 319 00:12:14,902 --> 00:12:16,237 - We�re Anton�s coworkers. - Yes. 320 00:12:16,238 --> 00:12:17,438 Yes, you are. [chuckles] 321 00:12:17,440 --> 00:12:18,950 - Yes. - Yes, the coworkers. Yes. 322 00:12:18,977 --> 00:12:20,613 We wanted to see Anton again, 323 00:12:20,614 --> 00:12:22,450 but we couldn�t track his little number for some reason. 324 00:12:22,451 --> 00:12:25,188 - For some reason. Yeah, us too. Yeah. - Yeah. 325 00:12:25,189 --> 00:12:27,326 - For a reason we don�t know. - [Issa] Yeah. At all. 326 00:12:27,327 --> 00:12:30,231 We tried texting him, but figured he�s still out there running. 327 00:12:30,232 --> 00:12:31,770 Yes, yes, he is still running, 328 00:12:31,771 --> 00:12:34,007 because it would be way too fast for him to have finished. 329 00:12:34,008 --> 00:12:35,442 - [Issa] Yes, yes. - [Samir] Yes. 330 00:12:35,443 --> 00:12:37,748 Wow, I cannot believe you guys are here. 331 00:12:37,749 --> 00:12:39,316 - [chuckles] We are! - [Issa] Yeah! 332 00:12:39,317 --> 00:12:41,956 You�re Anton�s coworkers and you�re here! 333 00:12:42,423 --> 00:12:44,228 Now! Wow! 334 00:12:44,896 --> 00:12:46,566 - [chuckles] - [chuckles] 335 00:12:46,567 --> 00:12:48,837 [all scream] 336 00:12:49,037 --> 00:12:51,173 [chattering, laughing] 337 00:12:51,174 --> 00:12:54,113 - [coworker 3] Can we use your bathroom? - [Anton] Oh, my God. 338 00:12:54,114 --> 00:12:55,148 - Yes. - Yeah. 339 00:12:55,149 --> 00:12:57,087 What else do they want from me? 340 00:12:57,253 --> 00:12:58,790 [? tense music playing] 341 00:12:58,791 --> 00:13:01,596 - [Billie] So the bathroom is this way... - Shit. 342 00:13:01,597 --> 00:13:06,303 ...and, um, Anton should probably be back from the marathon soon. 343 00:13:06,304 --> 00:13:07,841 Yeah. 344 00:13:09,244 --> 00:13:11,883 [coworker] Wow, great kitchen. 345 00:13:12,016 --> 00:13:13,886 - [Billie] Yes! - [Samir] Yes, yes. 346 00:13:13,887 --> 00:13:15,956 - Whose, uh... Whose house is this? - [Billie] Samir�s parents. 347 00:13:15,957 --> 00:13:18,095 They�re actually on an RV trip all over the country 348 00:13:18,096 --> 00:13:20,265 - to the national parks. - [Samir] Yes, yes. 349 00:13:20,266 --> 00:13:22,570 They just got to Yellowstone today, 350 00:13:22,571 --> 00:13:24,742 and it�s, yeah... When a 60-year-old sees Yellowstone, 351 00:13:24,743 --> 00:13:28,015 it just, like... [blows raspberry] . ..changes their life, you know? 352 00:13:28,016 --> 00:13:30,953 We can�t tell how amazing it was to watch Anton today, 353 00:13:30,954 --> 00:13:33,058 and all of it because his housekeeper was sick. I mean... 354 00:13:33,059 --> 00:13:34,529 Y-Yes, you-you should go. 355 00:13:34,530 --> 00:13:36,464 You should go to the bathroom, girl. 356 00:13:36,465 --> 00:13:38,067 [coworker 3] Uh, sure. 357 00:13:38,068 --> 00:13:41,809 Yes, Prosecco. Everyone want a glass of Prosecco? 358 00:13:41,976 --> 00:13:44,881 - No way! No way! - [cheering] 359 00:13:44,882 --> 00:13:46,084 No! 360 00:13:46,085 --> 00:13:47,835 - "No" what? What? - [Billie] Yes! 361 00:13:47,836 --> 00:13:49,992 - [whispering] Ring. Ring camera. - I knew you would. 362 00:13:49,993 --> 00:13:51,763 - I knew you would. - [groans] 363 00:13:51,929 --> 00:13:53,532 [whispering] I have to. Please. 364 00:13:53,533 --> 00:13:55,603 - [whispering] No. No. No. - California pinot grigio. 365 00:13:55,604 --> 00:13:58,275 - [groans] - [Billie] I think it could be good. 366 00:13:58,844 --> 00:14:01,983 - [screaming] - Way. No way. 367 00:14:05,857 --> 00:14:07,594 [? music continues] 368 00:14:21,455 --> 00:14:22,859 Hey! Whoa, whoa, whoa! 369 00:14:22,860 --> 00:14:25,095 Stop, man. What are you- Stop, dude. What are you- 370 00:14:25,096 --> 00:14:27,433 - [shushing] - [muffled grunting] 371 00:14:27,434 --> 00:14:28,804 Okay, okay, okay. 372 00:14:28,805 --> 00:14:30,539 [whispering] Who are you? 373 00:14:30,540 --> 00:14:32,443 Who am I? Who are you? 374 00:14:32,444 --> 00:14:34,480 Some girl said I could sleep here, and then she gave me her sweatpants, 375 00:14:34,481 --> 00:14:36,585 and we made out for a little bit. 376 00:14:36,586 --> 00:14:37,855 Ugh. Issa. 377 00:14:37,856 --> 00:14:41,227 - Were you trying to steal my thing? - No. No, I was borrowing it. 378 00:14:41,228 --> 00:14:42,497 Oh. 379 00:14:42,498 --> 00:14:44,166 - Why? - Because my coworkers are downstairs, 380 00:14:44,167 --> 00:14:46,003 and I told them I was running the marathon, 381 00:14:46,004 --> 00:14:47,641 so if I could just borrow this, it would mean a lot to me. 382 00:14:47,642 --> 00:14:49,309 You lied to your coworkers about running the marathon? 383 00:14:49,310 --> 00:14:50,714 Yes, yes, exactly. So... 384 00:14:50,914 --> 00:14:51,964 That�s bad, man. 385 00:14:52,416 --> 00:14:53,753 - Ow! - Don�t do that. 386 00:14:54,053 --> 00:14:56,458 - That�s messed up. [screams] - [shushing] 387 00:14:56,459 --> 00:14:58,509 - Fuck! [groans] - Shut up. What is wrong? 388 00:14:58,510 --> 00:15:00,065 - Cramp, cramp, cramp. - Okay, okay. 389 00:15:00,066 --> 00:15:01,334 - Okay, I�ll- - My hammy, my hammy, 390 00:15:01,335 --> 00:15:02,570 - my hammy, my hammy. - Your hammy. 391 00:15:02,571 --> 00:15:04,140 - Use your thumb. - Use my thumb? 392 00:15:04,141 --> 00:15:05,408 Don�t make it weird. 393 00:15:05,409 --> 00:15:06,779 Okay. 394 00:15:06,780 --> 00:15:08,916 Ow, fuck! Sorry for swearing, sorry for swearing. 395 00:15:08,917 --> 00:15:11,147 Sorry for swearing? Literally who are you? 396 00:15:11,188 --> 00:15:13,458 [groaning, breathing heavily] 397 00:15:13,459 --> 00:15:17,265 Okay, Paul Baker. Well, if you could just please help me out. 398 00:15:17,266 --> 00:15:20,606 A lot of people are invested in this lie. My roommates spent all day on this. 399 00:15:20,607 --> 00:15:22,778 Okay, I�m okay. I�m okay. Thank you. 400 00:15:22,945 --> 00:15:24,380 - Thank you so much. - Yeah. 401 00:15:24,381 --> 00:15:26,651 [panting] So, wait, you made your roommates lie too? 402 00:15:26,652 --> 00:15:29,692 No! They lied for me, okay? Like friends do. 403 00:15:29,693 --> 00:15:31,983 Don�t you have friends who would lie for you? 404 00:15:32,731 --> 00:15:34,735 - No. - Uh, you should probably find some. 405 00:15:34,736 --> 00:15:37,566 It�s like a group project. It�s actually quite creative. 406 00:15:37,567 --> 00:15:41,582 So, what, you guys all just live in this house, pay rent 407 00:15:41,583 --> 00:15:44,019 and just make shit up for each other? 408 00:15:44,020 --> 00:15:46,157 No, we don�t pay rent. 409 00:15:46,158 --> 00:15:48,529 - Huh. Nice. - Oh. Okay. 410 00:15:48,630 --> 00:15:50,801 This is gonna work. Um... So nice to meet you. 411 00:15:50,802 --> 00:15:53,371 Congrats on the marathon, and sorry about your leg. 412 00:15:53,372 --> 00:15:54,575 Thank you. 413 00:15:59,518 --> 00:16:01,054 [dog barking] 414 00:16:01,221 --> 00:16:03,425 Fucking supportive coworkers. 415 00:16:04,093 --> 00:16:05,830 - [screams] - [glass clinking] 416 00:16:05,831 --> 00:16:08,636 So, essentially, Samir and I grew up together. 417 00:16:08,637 --> 00:16:10,371 And I went to college with him, so... 418 00:16:10,372 --> 00:16:12,743 Yes, and that�s where we met Anton. So... 419 00:16:12,744 --> 00:16:12,810 Yes, and that�s where we met Anton. So... - [door opens] 420 00:16:12,811 --> 00:16:14,681 - [door opens] - [Issa] Yeah. 421 00:16:14,682 --> 00:16:16,451 And another interesting thing that actually happened in college 422 00:16:16,452 --> 00:16:18,354 is that we, you know, we went to a dance party- 423 00:16:18,355 --> 00:16:20,961 No way! No way! 424 00:16:21,228 --> 00:16:23,458 - [cheering] - [Anton] Oh, my... Oh, I�m a mess! 425 00:16:23,566 --> 00:16:25,502 - I�m a mess. Or am I glowing? - No. 426 00:16:25,503 --> 00:16:27,507 No, I�m probably a mess. Or am I glowing? 427 00:16:27,508 --> 00:16:30,078 You�re a messy glow. [laughs] I don�t know what that means. 428 00:16:30,079 --> 00:16:31,514 [coworker 3] Anton, you did it! 429 00:16:31,515 --> 00:16:33,050 I did it! 430 00:16:33,051 --> 00:16:36,892 As per my... my foil blanket and my- a lot of sweat and... 431 00:16:36,893 --> 00:16:39,196 - [coworker 2] Oh, yeah. - ...and et cetera and so forth. 432 00:16:39,197 --> 00:16:41,536 - Wait, show us your medal. - Oh, yes. 433 00:16:41,937 --> 00:16:43,172 Hmm? 434 00:16:43,840 --> 00:16:45,811 - [clicks tongue] - [Anton] Medal? 435 00:16:46,278 --> 00:16:47,658 [clears throat] Well, I, um... 436 00:16:47,659 --> 00:16:49,751 [chuckling] I didn�t finish first, guys. 437 00:16:49,752 --> 00:16:51,923 I mean, I was close. I was really close. 438 00:16:51,924 --> 00:16:53,559 I saw the finish line, and then... 439 00:16:53,560 --> 00:16:56,064 and then someone else got there first. 440 00:16:56,699 --> 00:16:59,889 - Wait, doesn�t everyone get a medal? - Yeah, everyone gets one. 441 00:16:59,890 --> 00:17:01,909 - I don�t... - [Billie stammers] 442 00:17:01,910 --> 00:17:04,247 - Oh, uh, you said you lost it. - Oh, he donated it. 443 00:17:04,248 --> 00:17:05,884 [coworker 3] What? 444 00:17:06,451 --> 00:17:09,124 Wait, you-you lost it or you donated it? 445 00:17:09,357 --> 00:17:12,831 Um... [stammers] Well, uh, it�s-it�s such a funny story. 446 00:17:12,832 --> 00:17:14,667 Don�t laugh yet. So, let me start. So- 447 00:17:14,668 --> 00:17:17,078 - So, my Aunt Bonnie is a klepto. - [Anton] Mm-hmm. 448 00:17:17,139 --> 00:17:20,345 Yes, and Issa was actually supposed to look after the medal, 449 00:17:20,346 --> 00:17:21,815 even though they�re having a fight. 450 00:17:21,816 --> 00:17:23,754 - Yes, so... - Yes, and I�m a therapist. 451 00:17:23,755 --> 00:17:27,025 [Issa] So, essentially, um, Bonnie was diagnosed when she was 14. 452 00:17:27,026 --> 00:17:30,600 Okay, okay, okay. You guys, please, it�s fine. 453 00:17:32,470 --> 00:17:33,941 Thanks. Um... 454 00:17:34,575 --> 00:17:38,883 [smacks lips] My friends are trying to protect me, because that�s what they do, 455 00:17:38,884 --> 00:17:40,753 but I�m gonna be honest. 456 00:17:40,754 --> 00:17:43,892 I, uh... I should probably just tell you I didn�t actually- 457 00:17:43,893 --> 00:17:46,498 Yo! [grunts] Dude, hey. Dude, there you are. 458 00:17:46,666 --> 00:17:48,735 Hi. Sorry, I couldn�t find you. 459 00:17:48,736 --> 00:17:50,773 Thanks for letting me borrow that for the picture, man. 460 00:17:50,774 --> 00:17:53,078 My mom�s gonna love it. 461 00:17:53,880 --> 00:17:58,155 My mom, who is the president 462 00:17:58,756 --> 00:18:02,363 of Latvia. 463 00:18:03,365 --> 00:18:04,734 [Anton] Of course. 464 00:18:04,735 --> 00:18:06,906 No problem, Paul Baker. 465 00:18:07,106 --> 00:18:08,309 No problem at all. 466 00:18:09,243 --> 00:18:12,282 - [whispering] Hi. - So, who wants to hold it first? 467 00:18:12,283 --> 00:18:15,255 - [all gasp, cheer] - Who�s the lucky first? 468 00:18:15,256 --> 00:18:17,393 - Hey, no more strays? - [stammers] Mmm? 469 00:18:17,394 --> 00:18:18,963 This is the last one. This is the last one. 470 00:18:18,964 --> 00:18:21,602 - Oh, wow, that was amazing. - You liked that? 471 00:18:21,603 --> 00:18:24,274 - [cheering, laughing] - Oh. 472 00:18:28,954 --> 00:18:34,527 [? suspenseful m -No, no. It�s not... It�s not happening. - Sammy! 473 00:18:34,528 --> 00:18:36,497 Sammy, don�t you want to use the front door? 474 00:18:36,498 --> 00:18:37,600 Won�t the front door feel good? 475 00:18:37,601 --> 00:18:39,041 [Anton] Yeah, Samir, come on. 476 00:18:39,137 --> 00:18:40,773 - Lying is stressful. - Mm-hmm. 477 00:18:40,774 --> 00:18:42,475 Take it from someone who�s now leading an office fun run. 478 00:18:42,476 --> 00:18:44,682 - [Billie] Wait, what? - Type 1 diabetes. 479 00:18:44,782 --> 00:18:46,686 I, uh... I actually can�t get into it. 480 00:18:46,687 --> 00:18:48,622 Wait, what do you mean you don�t like running? 481 00:18:48,623 --> 00:18:50,660 That is boring as hell, man. 482 00:18:50,661 --> 00:18:54,834 I just moved to New York a little bit ago, so I just ran the marathon to meet people. 483 00:18:54,835 --> 00:18:56,705 You ran 26 miles to meet people? 484 00:18:56,706 --> 00:18:58,442 Uh-huh. Yeah. 485 00:19:00,346 --> 00:19:01,481 And did you? 486 00:19:03,218 --> 00:19:04,286 Yeah, I did. 487 00:19:04,287 --> 00:19:06,223 - [both chuckle] - [Billie] Come on. 488 00:19:06,224 --> 00:19:07,827 Come on, Samir, it�s now or never, right? Let�s do it now, then. 489 00:19:07,828 --> 00:19:09,162 - [Billie] Come on. - Okay. 490 00:19:09,163 --> 00:19:10,666 - Come on. - Okay, okay, okay, okay. 491 00:19:10,667 --> 00:19:12,971 - You ready? - [Samir] Uh, sure. 492 00:19:12,972 --> 00:19:14,841 Okay. [smacks lips] All right. 493 00:19:14,842 --> 00:19:16,277 [? lively music plays] 494 00:19:16,278 --> 00:19:18,688 - [Billie chuckles] - [Samir whimpers, sighs] 495 00:19:19,117 --> 00:19:21,487 [all cheering] 496 00:19:21,488 --> 00:19:22,658 [Billie] Good job! 497 00:19:22,824 --> 00:19:24,727 - Yes. Yes. - [phone buzzing] 498 00:19:24,728 --> 00:19:25,930 [Issa] Yay! 499 00:19:26,632 --> 00:19:27,968 Fuck. 500 00:19:28,670 --> 00:19:31,007 Yes. Yes, Mom, I know. I know. 501 00:19:31,008 --> 00:19:34,848 ?? Alabama, Arkansas I do love my Ma and Pa ? 502 00:19:34,849 --> 00:19:38,189 ?? Not the way That I do love you ? 503 00:19:38,388 --> 00:19:42,495 ? Well, holy moly, me-oh-my You�re the apple of my eye ? 504 00:19:42,496 --> 00:19:45,637 ? Girl, I never loved one Like you ? 505 00:19:46,004 --> 00:19:47,934 ?? Man, oh, man You�re my best friend ? 506 00:19:48,208 --> 00:19:50,044 ? I scream it To the nothingness ? 507 00:19:50,045 --> 00:19:52,952 ?? There ain�t nothing That I need ? 508 00:19:53,586 --> 00:19:55,657 ? Well, hot And heavy pumpkin pie ? 509 00:19:55,757 --> 00:19:57,526 ? Chocolate candy Jesus Christ ? 510 00:19:57,527 --> 00:20:00,399 ?? Ain�t nothing pleasing More than you ? 511 00:20:00,834 --> 00:20:04,908 ?? Oh, home, let me come home ? 512 00:20:04,909 --> 00:20:08,516 ?? Home is Wherever I�m with you ? 513 00:20:12,758 --> 00:20:13,926 [? song ends] 514 00:20:13,976 --> 00:20:18,526 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0